Mischievous Caller Gifts

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

Misery lit...

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

Law Books

'It's for you.'

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

What's wrong with the TV? IT keeps changing to the cartoons! (son sitting behind mom with the remote control).

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

'Luck I forgot my deodorant this morning.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'My trust fund manager makes me wear it.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Tree's up!"