Playful Caller Gifts

'It's for you.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

I'm keeping my phone on...we'll need a wake up call after this guy speaks!

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"My concession speech will be brief. You win."

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

A man playing with a baby

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

"Anything wrong, sweetie pie? You've been ignoring the tip jar lately."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

I think I have too many apps.

"What is your position regarding the issue of emotional commitment in a relationship?"

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

At 'Appy 'Ampstead on Easter Monday.

'Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it!'

"I've been married four times... do you think my resistance is down?"

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

Thought bubbles and speech bubbles

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

Emoticon Prison.

I met a girl last night. It went well. Do tell. We saw each other through a crowd. I winked at her. She winked back. If all goes well, we may get to second base tonight. Second base? We may exchange smiley emoticons instead of just hitting "wink." Are you sure you're ready for that?

'That was my wife. And boy, she sure freaked out when I told her I'm playing russian roulett.'

Sixth word.... Sounds like... Bell! ...Hell? ...Well? ...WELL!! ...OK, then... so far it's 'Timmy BLANK trapped BLANK BLANK well'...

Institute for Decisive Thinking (in trays read eenie, meenie, mynie, mo).

'This is really cool Joey. How do I text?'