Playful Commentator Gifts

"I've been married four times... do you think my resistance is down?"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Here we mark our data points, but the real fun is connecting the dots!"

Expressions of mystery.

Pundits

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

'I like it.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

Art Gallery.

Justice for a heckler.

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

People want as much government as they deserve.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'