Playful Commentator Gifts

"I've been married four times... do you think my resistance is down?"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Here we mark our data points, but the real fun is connecting the dots!"

Expressions of mystery.

Pundits

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Art Gallery.

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

'I like it.'

Justice for a heckler.

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

People want as much government as they deserve.

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."