Clever Commentator Gifts

Go ahead Gilles! Taste the lovely forbidden fruit of reform.

I beg to differ

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Wifi in Hell

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Expressions of mystery.

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

'I like it.'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Art Gallery.

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

People want as much government as they deserve.

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."