Funny Commentators Gifts

'Your zipper is awfully loud!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Expressions of mystery.

"Can you hear me now?"

Pundits

That's nothing. You should see what he writes in the comments section.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

Art Gallery.

'I like it.'

In baseball we can't practice social distancing when everybody is told to stay at home.

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'The Chinese are using their currency as a weapon!' - 'Yeah - they have an ATM bomb!'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

People want as much government as they deserve.

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

China deploys troops to prepare for an American invasion of North Korea. Russia warns that if America attacks Syria again, Russia will respond with force. Y'know, last time we had a world war, we weren't the ones everyone was defending themselves against. Sometimes when you're playing tag, it's more fun to be "it." We should have out own political show.

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"