Mischievous Mixer Gifts

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

The Phantom Of The Garden

A pony throws its rider.

A thief steals a heart

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Naughty Food

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

"Her name's Snuggles."

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'

'Maybe she has allergies.'

'There's a worm on my plate.' 'That's a sausage.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty."

'Excuse me sir, have you found and contact lenses in your soup?'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

'Somebody must be watching us.'

'Honey, did you put the Tabasco Sauce in Ben's dish by mistake?'

"Look. Jerome. Unless you want me to crap on the bed I'd suggest you practice your sand wedge outside."

"So, how long have you been old?"

'What did we say about body language?'

Eternal Rest Cemetery and Golf Course.

'The important thing to remember is we must forget this ever happened.'