Mischievous Muncher Gifts

Naughty Food

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"I need to take the batteries out of that one."

Babies who Lunch.

'Any more napkins, Hon? Annie's got cone leakage.'

'Excuuuse me! Please don't touch my Father!'

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

"Cemetery Pie"

'He tried to swallow his easter egg in one go.'

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

Motivation

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."

'I give her a lick then I take a lick.'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'

'There's a worm on my plate.' 'That's a sausage.'

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

'C'mon, Bill, LOOK at the evidence! A fabulous home-made crust, fresh apples, raisins, gourmet vanilla ice cream, and no sign of a struggle. This guy was definitely killed by kindness!'

"They were not the tastiest mints the swine had eaten, but they kept casting them before him, so he kept on eating them."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

Tarot Cards for Chickens