Mystical Muncher Gifts

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Tarot Cards for Chickens

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Babies who Lunch.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"Cemetery Pie"

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Vegan Voldemort

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

"So … ribs for lunch?"