Miracle Muncher Gifts

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"Cemetery Pie"

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

Motivation

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."

'It's one of your five a day.'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

Naughty Food

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

Yes, I know it's only been three hours - I'm a fast faster!

Our menu is legendary. Really? Do you serve leg of Sasquatch? That's my favorite legend! Menu.

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

'C'mon, Bill, LOOK at the evidence! A fabulous home-made crust, fresh apples, raisins, gourmet vanilla ice cream, and no sign of a struggle. This guy was definitely killed by kindness!'

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

Fat Buddhist contemplating eating the dove of peace.

Tarot Cards for Chickens

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

Cruncho Cereal with moral fiber.