Macabre Muncher Gifts

"Cemetery Pie"

'Hey, Jack, our pizza is done.'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Babies who Lunch.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

It's always good idea to check your burrito butt.

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"So … ribs for lunch?"