Miracle Muncher Pillows

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Cemetery Pie"

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

Motivation

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

'It's one of your five a day.'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

Naughty Food

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

Fat Buddhist contemplating eating the dove of peace.

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'C'mon, Bill, LOOK at the evidence! A fabulous home-made crust, fresh apples, raisins, gourmet vanilla ice cream, and no sign of a struggle. This guy was definitely killed by kindness!'

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

Tarot Cards for Chickens

Cruncho Cereal with moral fiber.

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

'It's Adam, we've run into a terrible dandruff problem.'