Merriment Muncher Pillows

Santa eats too many mince pies

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Babies who Lunch.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"They're sound bites."

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

"Cemetery Pie"

'And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four...'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Merry Christmas!

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"So … ribs for lunch?"

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'