Metaphysical Munchers Gifts

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Pizza and Related Searches.

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"Cemetery Pie"

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Vegan Voldemort

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

"So … ribs for lunch?"