Metaphysical Munchers T-Shirts

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"Cemetery Pie"

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

"So … ribs for lunch?"

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

Vegan Voldemort

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'