Mystic Muncher T-Shirts

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Babies who Lunch.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"Cemetery Pie"

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Vegan Voldemort