Mystic Muncher T-Shirts

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Babies who Lunch.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

"Cemetery Pie"

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'