Myth Muncher T-Shirts

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"If only you knew. . ."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

"Cemetery Pie"

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

"It's good luck."

'And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four...'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

Vegan Voldemort

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

'It's one of your five a day.'

Naughty Food

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'