Mischievous Meal Lover Gifts

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Kitchen Kapers

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Babies who Lunch.

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Misery lit...

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I'll have the mystery meat with anonymous vegetables.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Law Books

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

Waiter: 'Your Chicken wings Ma'am.'

"Eat your greens. . . and your pinks and yellows and blues."

Cat lights rocket strapped to a dog

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'I'll take a six-piece 'Surprise Me' meal, and two 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Wraps with Super Enigma Chunks...'

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

'Moral of the story? Oh, son, we don't have those.'

Naughty Food

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

'I'm having these sausages carbon dated.'

Balloon Sausages.

'There's a worm on my plate.' 'That's a sausage.'

An eerie hush fell over the audience when Myrtle responded, 'it tastes likes chicken. . .'.

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

Thoughtful Dog