Mischievous Meal Eaters Gifts

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Kitchen Kapers

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Babies who Lunch.

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'Will the gentleman prefer his mouse well-done, or will he be playing with it first?'

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I'll have the mystery meat with anonymous vegetables.'

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

'I can't tell you what's in the stew because it's classified.'

"Surprise me."

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."