Novelty Meal Lover Gifts

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

Soup of the month.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

The Aisle

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'