Novelty Restaurant Lover Gifts

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Soup of the month.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"Regular service or affected?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

"....and hold the garlic."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"We're out of flowers."

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'