Restaurant Lover Gifts

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"What I'd like is different presidential candidates, but I guess I'll just have the shrimp in garlic sauce."

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Linguini for two?"

'My owner is a bachelor. May I have a human bag?'

'Look at it this way - It's tested your waterproof make-up.'

'You want to see a menu? -- Don't you trust us?'

"You will soon be stuck with the check."

"I'll have the cheesecake, hold the cake."

'She gets too hungry for dinner at eight.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

The Pizza Parlor in town.

'My motto is...'if you can't stand the heat, go out to dinner'.'

Lobster wearing a napkin.

" and my husband will have..."

'Yes, my good man, we'll have the '02 Vin de Table - and make it the 1.5 meter bottle.'

He knew one sure way to get a table without a reservation.

Woman being attacked by pastaoutside 'Casa Pasta.'

Earlier I said the catch-of-the-day was shark. Well, now its perch. Don't ask.

'Ready for a second bottle?'

"I'll have the mixed grill and the cod and chips."

The vaccine

'I'm ready to order.'

Tonight's special - the violin player is home with the flu.

"Can you come by Table Seven? They have some edits for the chicken."

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

Three Pigs.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'The lady said you will pay.'

"Table for one" is all you need to know. "One what?" is none of your business.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"My name's Troy, and I'll be your server tonight." "My name's Fred, and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon." "I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason."

"Separate desserts? It's come to this?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"