Novelty Restaurant Lover Pillows

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Soup of the month.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Regular service or affected?"

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Platter confusion.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"....and hold the garlic."

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"We're out of flowers."

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Linguini for two?"