Restaurant Enthusiast Pillows

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"Dial 911. And change that to a table for three."

"Let's extend our debt ceiling this evening."

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Sorry for the wait, but it's been like Grand Central station in here."

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

'Oh God!!...the members of the church choir have their annual dinner!'

"I take it everything is NOT all right."

"Sorry about the delay, sir, but you shouldn't have to wait much longer - the manager is interviewing chefs as we speak."

"Yours is what's taking so long."

'I've heard the lobster is extremely fresh here.'

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

'According to the menu, they use only free-range chickens!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Special offer today -TWO for one, sir!'

'I enjoy dining out like this. But it isn't the same as eating one of your home cooked meals, thank goodness.

Social Importance: When the maitre d' knows your name.

"The cooker's broken, we'll have to eat out."

Advanced footsie

"Excuse me-I think there's something wrong with this in a tiny way that no one other than me would ever be able to pinpoint."

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."

"We know technology would replace us someday."

"Snap out of it, Demos! You think you're the only one who's ever had waiter's block?"

"Check."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"I gave your ‘compliments to the chef,’ and he’d like you to elaborate."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Leave him a good tip, Arthur. He's really cute."