Novelty Foodie Gifts

Soup of the month.

Roadkill Restaurant

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Rump roast?"

Pigeon Little

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."