Mischievous Mixer T-Shirts

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

The Phantom Of The Garden

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

A thief steals a heart

A pony throws its rider.

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

Naughty Food

'How come Zorro's mother let him draw on walls.'

"Her name's Snuggles."

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'

'There's a worm on my plate.' 'That's a sausage.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'Maybe she has allergies.'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty."

'Excuse me sir, have you found and contact lenses in your soup?'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

'Somebody must be watching us.'

'Mm...diabolical!'

'Honey, did you put the Tabasco Sauce in Ben's dish by mistake?'

"Look. Jerome. Unless you want me to crap on the bed I'd suggest you practice your sand wedge outside."

"So, how long have you been old?"

'What did we say about body language?'

Eternal Rest Cemetery and Golf Course.