Mile High Members Gifts

"We didn't drag you off the plane. That WAS your frequent flyer reward."

'What zip code are we in now?'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"If you don't like the chicken, perhaps we can have the air marshal shoot a goose."

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"Greatest Band?"

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

The stilt walkers union on strike

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

Tightrope Walker

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

Confessions on a plane.

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

Angel Nightclub: The Head of a Pin.

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

'With this extreme turbulence, the meals really are in flight.'

"You guys know any more drummers? Another one just combusted."

Dude, it's cool that you rebel by wearing a nose-ring, but if I were to do that, I would look just like my dad...

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"Brass band and bagpipes have their place. Outdoors and 10 miles away!"

Skydivers recording their air miles.

'Where are you headed?' 'Oh, I'm just here for the food.'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

'That's business class.'

Jonas Brothers

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.