Mile-high Humorist Gifts

Frequent Flyer Class (excused safety demo)

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

Cow Blue Arrows

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

Bra falling from the sky.

mountain climer finding a guru wearing a covid mask and a sign that says 6 feet please.

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Amongst the Culturati II.

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

Visual gag (a small microsurgeon's office).

"That's Mount Keister. Be Careful though, it could go off at any time!"

Hi! -Lo!

Supernova Man

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."