Mile-high Humorist Gifts

Frequent Flyer Class (excused safety demo)

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

Cow Blue Arrows

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

Amongst the Culturati II.

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

Airport. Taxi. Everybody I drive to the airport seems to lose their fear of flying.

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

mountain climer finding a guru wearing a covid mask and a sign that says 6 feet please.

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Bra falling from the sky.

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

Visual gag (a small microsurgeon's office).

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"No Chateau Lafite '62? Guess I'll have a brewskie."

Hi! -Lo!