High-rise Humorist Gifts

"Luckily there's only one sitting tenant"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Is there a company doctor in the house?

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cook complaining to milkman

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."