High Culture Humorist Gifts

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Yes, all at once!'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Ladies Who Lurch.

The Scottish Lawn

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Cover story: Plant World.

"When did this game get started?"

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"

"Don't forget the spaghetti dinner at Sparolini's after the show."

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

Keister Island

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

Monstrosa Impressus