High Society Humorist Gifts

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Your Bingo papers, Madam!' 'She's been a real pain since she won the jackpot last week!'

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

Sloane Ranger.

"No bellini for me. I'm being fuled by Xanax."

'Ever since she found out she's realted to one of the Queen's Corgis...!'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

After Dinner Cigar.

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

"Mrs Hamilton Creighton the third, and gigolo."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"They're Karl Lagerfeld's cat's furballs."

"Whose cash are you calling idle?"

"Can you help me out? I'm a little bit short with my club dues."

Jacket, Tie and Money Required

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Champagne at the hunt

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"Today I found out a teacher can call on you even if you have location services turned off."

"Don't forget the spaghetti dinner at Sparolini's after the show."

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.