Modern Society Humorist Gifts

"You don't have a cell phone with you? That counts as 'nude'."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

Wifi in Hell

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Peter

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The Evolution Of Man