Celebrity Culture Humorist Gifts

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Brad Pitt.

The Scottish Lawn

"When did this game get started?"

Jennifer Lawrence

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'They're pinching my toes!'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

Ben Stiller

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

Keister Island

Cartooning

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

J. J. Abrams

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

'Don't say anything!'

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

Pot Needles