Celebrity Culture Humorist Pillows

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Scottish Lawn

"When did this game get started?"

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'They're pinching my toes!'

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Keister Island

Cartooning

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

Pot Needles

"Sure, we live in a cave but do we have to dress like we live in a cave?"

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'Don't say anything!'

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"