Celebrity Culture Satirist Gifts

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Reese Witherspoon

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

David Niven caricature

Alabama Traffic Jam

Latest Aye Phone

Macho Vegetarian

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Gregg Allman

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'My client wasn't going to keep the money, Your Honor - He only robbed the bank to get on a reality show.'

Max Beerbohm

Frank's (Littleknown) Bird Sanctuary.

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."

Stay at home

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