Showbiz Satirist Gifts

"I don't know much about show business, but my uncle was featured on the golden globes buffet table."

Theatrical agent, "Quite honestly Frank I think you've turned into a poor caricature of yourself"

"Take my advice, drop the name Rolf Savile."

"I own 60% of your image rights. Which means you have to pay me ten quid every time you look in the mirror."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Reese Witherspoon

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

German School

How I met your mother

"What are you doing?"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

The Evolution Of Man