Showbiz Satirists Gifts

"Know what I miss? Just sitting around with my old friends, and barking."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Occu-Pie Mars

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

They're Not Just That Into It

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

Reese Witherspoon

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

How I met your mother

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

War of Words

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Leftie Trump

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."