High-roller Humorist Gifts

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

Cow Blue Arrows

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Brad Pitt.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Jennifer Lawrence

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Hellbillies.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

Ben Stiller

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

'Do you have an agent?'

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

Airport. Taxi. Everybody I drive to the airport seems to lose their fear of flying.