High-roller Humor Gifts

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

Cow Blue Arrows

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

The Ladies Who Lurch.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Destination casinos...

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

"How was the play!"

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

"Who'da thunk guys like us would ever have found ourselves looking forward to Social Security like this?"

"My wife helped me become a millionaire. Before I met her, I was a billionaire."

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.