High-flyer Humor Gifts

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

Pilot with champagne.

Private Jet

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

Missing you.

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'Come on! You only live once!'

'The stock market closed early today due to an outbreak of 'altitude sickness'.'

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

Skydive

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

The only thing I have to offer is my own confusion."

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

Trapeze artists.

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'Hi, I'm a sky marshall, you?'

"O.K., Mr. Spinelli, you're up. Now bank her to the right, and I'll talk you back in for a nice smooth landing."

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

Flying carpets.

Man flying above the clouds

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

"We seem to be out of gas. I'm outa here! See you on the ground."