High-flying Hilarity Lover Gifts

Someone boards a plane in a parachuting outfit, helmet and all and sits next to a terrified passenger reading Fear of Flying.

IT security.

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

I brake for Jetliners.

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'Try rebooting.'

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'Big sod.'

"Once a sinner, always a sinner!"

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

"Failure is not an option (it comes bundled with the software)"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"We seem to be out of gas. I'm outa here! See you on the ground."

Airport. Taxi. Everybody I drive to the airport seems to lose their fear of flying.

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

'She's our first born. We haven't picked a name, but it will be case sensitive with at least one numeral.'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

"Vinnie, it's time we send our 'friend' a little message."

'I'll pass on the liqueurs ,you never know who's watching out there...'