High-flyer Humorist Gifts

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

For Sale: Red Arrow

Pilot with champagne.

'Flight simulator'

Private Jet

"It's my helper trout!"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

Missing you.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Come on! You only live once!'

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'The stock market closed early today due to an outbreak of 'altitude sickness'.'

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

Skydive

Man flying above the clouds

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

Flying carpets.

Trapeze artists.

'Hi, I'm a sky marshall, you?'

The only thing I have to offer is my own confusion."

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."