Sky-high Jokester Gifts

Cow Blue Arrows

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

"How's my tripping you up?"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

Black Hole Corks

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"Sorry, professor... A black hole sucked in my homework!"

The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singulari

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

Galley Christmas

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."