High Jump Jokester Gifts

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Cow Blue Arrows

"Bed Spread"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

'Lift off, we have lift off...'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Pommel Horse Poops.

How's the writer's block?

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse