Jousting Jokester Gifts

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Bed Spread"

Fleas Navidad.

Car joust.

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Merry Christmas"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"I hate this time of year."

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Don Quilowatte

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

Elf of the Month

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Cleaning the Horse

'Has anyone seen my contact?'

'Hey, is that an official thing or did your mom give you that shirt?'

Jake decided to wear a suit for the first day of his new job.