Joking Jumper Gifts

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Chase me, chase me cows.

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Bed Spread"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Girl in Yellow Jumper

Leaping

"I hate this time of year."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

'You made me jump.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"At least you made it into the hallway."

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Remind me to never take the shortcut through the Christmas Sweater workshop."

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."

How's the writer's block?

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."