Mileage Humorist Gifts

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Bob's Driving School.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

No Instruments Please

Dr. Phil takes it home.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."