Mileage Humorist Gifts

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Middle-Age Superheroes

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Radiator jazz player

Bob's Driving School.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Rap-scallions

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

No Instruments Please

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Ding" "Dong"

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."