Life Journey Humorist Gifts

Tunnel of Life

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Football Chameleon

Airport Security.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Didn't you just say that?"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Peter

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.