Life Journey Humorist Gifts

Tunnel of Life

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Football Chameleon

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Peter

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast