Journey Humorist Gifts

'Go back down the highway three miles and hang a right onto the first road that you see.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Bob's Driving School.

Bicycle sat nav.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Recalculating

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.