Daily Journey Humorist Gifts

'I found a new way to the office through Syria.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Bob's Driving School.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Vampire on a plane

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'