Life Stage Humorist Gifts

"75"

Middle-Age Superheroes

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Magic Act

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

Rocket charmer.

'I'm bored.'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

Same Sexless Marriage

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

The Theatre of Mime.

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."